lotus2009's Logboek

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12 december 2010

Gewicht: Tot nu toe verloren: Nog te gaan: Dieet gevolgd:
69,4 kg 5,6 kg 4,4 kg Redelijk Goed
   Reactie Toevoegen Gewichtsafname van 4,8 kg per week

11 december 2010

I feel very lonely and suicidal.His love was the only good thing in my life.The rest just struggles.I will allow this some more time,six monthes or so.Then I will decide whether there is any meaning to keep living at all...I love him and want his love.I don't know what to do with my turbulant heart.I don't want to let him go anywhere.I believe he will be back within this time,I allowed myself to live.God loves me I have no doubt in it,but if He does not help me to be with the man I love,how will I have a family and kids?I'm 30years old and I've seen enough.I don't want anything more.I just want my man back.If he does not come back then I want rest in Heaven.If I can't have husband I love,kids and family,what for to live at all?Better to put a full stop to all pains and worries.Please pray for me,so that he comes back and loves me again...I really love him.I really do love him like crazy.I'm old enough to understand what love is.I'm feeling so tired...So lost and lonely...I need him so much.

11 december 2010

11 december 2010

Its midnight...I spoke to my bf on yahoo some time ago.And he was saying he is breaking up with me and is getting along with one of his ex's.We are together since 2008.He is the only one who is really close to my soul,my lover,my friend,my family,my trust and wisdom,my shading tree...I should feel upset and broken after hearing this...But guess what?I'm feeling alright and not worried.Cause my gut feelings is telling me that he is lying and testing my faith in him.I was not nice to him lately and was suffocating him with my needy-clingy behaviour.And he was saying he is breaking up with me because of this.And is having relation with his ex.I don't know why and how I feel so light.I feel like something inside me surely and absolutely knows its a big lie and he can't betray me ever,even though because of current stressful life situation I'm being clingy.My heart is telling me,I have God above and He wont let anything bad happen and will control the situation in my favour.Cause my love and dedication is true,in spite of tremendous family pressure,I strongly want to be with him.I feel like I handed over all my worries to God and He is working on things in MY favour and the man I love will be back very soon and by his own will.My wise friends,what you think about this?Am I overly confident in God and overly trusting that man?But you know its a GUT feeling...Gut feeling very rarely proves wrong?I'm awaiting your opinion...And weight loss...It continues...I don't worry about that.

11 december 2010

Gewicht: Tot nu toe verloren: Nog te gaan: Dieet gevolgd:
70,1 kg 4,9 kg 5,1 kg Redelijk Goed
   Reactie Toevoegen Gewichtsafname van 2,2 kg per week


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