Hi! My life has been a mess, but up until now, my weight never has been. I've always been naturally athletic and petite. Even after the birth of four kids. I've always been the person that ate the most yet seemed to gain the least weight. I've always been between 115-35 lbs max. Now I step on the scale and see 155, 162, 173, and then *shudders* oh HECK no, a frightening 186 lbs the other day!! My husband and love of over 12 years got another woman pregnant and ran off with her, taking our children and everything that we owned out of our home along with him. I entered a deep depression. I started drinking, and crying, and drinking some more. I wasn't eating and at times wouldn't leave my house for days on end. Needless to say, I wasn't living a very healthy lifestyle at all. For the first time in my life, I started to put on weight, but I was too depressed to notice it and too isolated for anyone else to notice to tell me themselves. I became severely suicidal and was put on various medications, some of which caused me to gain a lot of weight within a short amount of time. Two years later, the depression is slowly subsiding, I am not on medication, and I am in a much different mindset than I was two years ago. I am determined to tell depression to kiss my a*s, and to get back to the person I was before this all happened to me. The name "FatSecret" is perfect because I feel "fat", and it's definitely a secret to most as to the details and reasons why I gained this weight. So I joined this site to keep track of my calories, to document my journey, and to inspire not only myself but anyone else who wants to accompany me on my journey. It's been quite a battle, but for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I am still here. I have wanted to die, but I survived, and now I am ready to start the journey towards living my best life, and realizing that that doesn't have to include being someone's wife. I am done crying over spilled spoiled milk. I'm ready to pour me a new glass.